Grab your chequebook, it’s the brand new release from Seth Africa

After a chance discovery that his Fostex Multitracker 280 would modulate sound when plugged into itself at a T54 band practice, Joe Sampson (Salad Boys, The Dance Asthmatics, T54, 83 Girls) decided to take advantage of this new invention and record an album.

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FULLY CHARGED is ‘certainly a treat’ according to UnderTheRadar.co.nz, and Joe spoke to Gemma Syme on Radio NZ National about the process of recording the album. Listen here:

An album full of synth drones and flanged drum machines, Fully Charged is a voyage into tape machine tomfoolery and vintage gear misuse, and is claiming some uncharted territory for Sampson.  Despite it being an ‘experimental album’ and completely instrumental, Sampson’s excellent songwriting underpins the release making it more than the sum of its parts.

Give it a listen and throw a few coins in the jar over at http://meltedicecream.bandcamp.com/ - or just stream here:

Surfboard 4 sale

It was probably the fact my boogie board had snapped in two that made me realise that despite my best efforts, that this day was not the day that I was going to become a surfer. I’d caught a few shitty waves earlier on before this fuck off massive one came and I sort of caught it but I also sort of got caught off guard by it resulting in my head slamming into the board and breaking the polystyrene inside the board in two. It wasn’t enough to make me give up entirely - but when you’re trying it on with a board broken in two you’re pretty damned. I ended up being slightly fucked off by it and taking the wrist strap off and letting the board float into the sea for some other poor soul to try and use.

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Sometimes in my mind I invent sorts of pseudosciences and on this particular day I’d had my head wrapped up in the waves, how they boards react to gravity, a sort of weird analogy I’d thought of with ball bearings on trampolines and how surfboards and boogie boards roll down the oncoming wave like they were being pulled by some kind of magnetism from the seabed like ball bearings on a trampoline rolling around or something like that; it made sense to me and I was desperately trying to test the theory. I’d also smoked some Pure the night before and hadn’t slept, so I thought maybe a trip to the beach and a decent hit of chop would chill me out a bit. Come 7pm I was still there, fucking knackered but mentally still revving the shit out of at least three brain cylinders and it was all deserted apart from some kids playing on the rocks.

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Now this is the interesting bit. I’d ditched the bodyboard and decided to nick a surfboard from the shed on the beach because the waves were still good and I’d fucked up my board and I’d seen earlier that the cunt that owned it clearly didn’t know how to lock a shed. He was basically asking for it.  There was a really lovely vintage surfboard with quane written on it inside, which I’d decided would do the trip, and I took it off the wall and back into the water. Kawabunga motherfucker. This thing really looked fucking cool and I figured I’d try and get some waves on it before nicking it for good.

Half an hour later I still had no idea how to catch a wave on this stupid board. I was laughing at myself for being such a prick. Oh well. Kept trying. The kids on the rocks had got into the water and had their own boogie boards and they were doing a much better job of catching waves than I’d done all afternoon. They were around by the rocks still which vaguely concerned me but mostly I was ok with because I was feeling a bit paranoid they’d go tell mummy and daddy that there was a weirdo with a stolen surfboard still on the beach after five hours. If they came closer i could’ve told them to fuck off probably. But they were there, I was here.

The miracle wave happened finally. I was probably about 30 meters out and I could see this stupid big wave coming from ages away. I had myself good and ready and when it finally was upon me I did exactly what the pros do.  Fuck, it must’ve been three metres at its face, curling beautifully, powerfully massive. I launched myself onto the board, ready to stand up, ball bearings on a trampoline, yes it was going to happen, the excitement was right there and the struggles of today were going to pay off all at once. God, what a feeling.

Nope, fell off.  I went under, never have I been slammed that hard by a wave before, almost knocked me out, water in the ears and the nose and the mouth.  Was this drowning? I did ponder that for a second but then I resurfaced and it was fine. Fuck it.  Those kids had started screaming, clearly they’d had a bad trip on that one too.  I glanced over and noticed the two making the most noise were at the shore.  Grow the fuck up I thought. Just a wave. Just a massive fucking wave.

Then when I squinted I noticed the kid on the rocks, not looking too healthy. In fact he was looking pretty fucked up. His forearm seemed like maybe it was at right angles. Didn’t seem to be moving much.  Hmm.  Yeah he definitely wasn’t moving. Squinted a bit harder at him. Come to think of it that was definitely a hue of red on the rocks.  Fuck.  definitely something pissing out of his skull.  This kid was fucked. Good as dead. Dead. Probably.  Shit.  I realised I’d be needing to get the fuck out of there stat.

Anyway I’ve put the board on trademe now, hope you can throw a bid down, its a pretty good deal.  http://www.trademe.co.nz/sports/surfing/surfboards/longboards/auction-715155184.htm

Also while I’m flogging shit off, Melted Ice Cream now have some fresh new shit:

* Thrill Collins have released their fantastic ‘Difficult Listening’ album, as glowingly reviewed by Simon Sweetman and is available to buy here or streamable above.

* Team Ugly’s excellent, sickeningly orange ‘Screaming In Tongues’ cassettes are available on Melted Ice Cream’s page on flyingout.co.nz

* 10 more copies of X-Ray Charles’ ‘Selph Titled’ EP.  Buy them, they’re cheap and fucking great.  

Grab a ho, and another ho, Merry Christmas.

Merry X, moving along…

Tonight, on Boxing Night 2013 I’ve got 3 pieces of news for everyone… But first I want to tell you why they call the 26th of December “Boxing Night”. Basically back in the day all the upper middle class people would round up their unwanted gifts and gather at the community hall to “box” them up for the lower middle class, or for “charity” as they called it. Pretty obvious/unexciting now you know aye?

Firstly, Rhett Copland (Christian Rock, ShackLock Meth Party, Doctors etc…) has just put up an amazing 55-minute documentary on the Salad Boys and Christian Rock winter tour on the You Tube. The tour was held in August ‘13 and went from Christchurch to Dunedin, up to Auckland and thru Hamilton to Wellington. It’s obvious when you watch it how much fun that was had and how much shit that was talked and how many jazz cigarettes that were hucked, and one can almost pinpoint the exact moment the phrase “Mmm dope” started to be used by the wider population. The doco includes unheard music/racketscapes from Salad Boys, Rhett Copland and your humble CEO. Congrats to Rhett for doing a fantastic job of editing, it looks cracker. We’re considering the idea of doing a screening in Christchurch sometime early next year, along with a potential VHS release of the doco plus live footage and outtakes and shit, all in the vague idea stages right now but please, do watch below…

Secondly and thirdly, Melted Ice Cream have two brand new cassette/digital releases up for download/purchase on our Bandcamp!

First is the debut four song EP from four piece Auckland group Team Ugly. The EP is titled “Screaming in Tongues” and sports 4 and a half short, sharp, concise, radical, abrasive and cream frosted clangers aimed at alienating even the weirdest of secretive high school jocks, if you can forgive me for saying so (you know what type of people I’m referring to). Tapes are available for $5 plus postage. They are dubbed semi-home style with hand-computer-printed and hand-scissor-cut artwork, a real sweet little package - even comes with a fucken download code! Visit our Bandcamp to get one, or if you’re lazy stream it right here: 

Lastly is the second and most recent EP Pool Food from Luke Towart and Tyne Gordon’s Wurld Series. Pool Food follows last year’s wonderful mini album Lunch Songs and sports 6 imaginative, intellectual and hypnotic bedroom psych gems in just over ten minutes, making for a pretty quick but pretty damn inspiring listen. Both EPs are available together digitally and on an actually limited edition semi-homestyle cassette on the Melted Ice Cream Bandcamp. Digital formats are available for free or pay as you like download and cassettes are $5.00 NZD plus shipping. I have about 10 in stock so if you want one I suggest you make it a quick as sale, c’mon, don’t fuck me around…

Well it’s nearly the end of 2013 and what a hectic and exciting year it’s been! I guess this is my opportunity to thank all of you again who downloaded the Arson City compilation and came to the shows we put on and generally supported the music we’ve hosted in some way or another. A special thanks goes to Angela and Courtney at Under The Radar for their support for Melted Ice Cream and Christchurch’s underground/alternative music scene this year, cheers! Next year we’ve got loads more tours and loads more releases and at least one more compilation in the pipeline (either Feb or March) so there’s plenty to keep an eye out for either here, on the Bandcamp or on our Facebook.

We shall wrap things up with a somewhat twisted and wonderful merry Crimbo video from Iggy Pop I saw today, Mmmmm…..

"Kill Me"

Says the wonderful Michael McClelland of Auckland’s Team Ugly, and it took me a while to get my head around the correct spelling of his surname. “Kill Me” is the first song off their new (and first?) EP, due out very soon, somewhere in some place. Look at them on Facebook here.

There isn’t a lot for sale in this post, just an update to warm the cockles of your heart while the season of darkness spits and seethes it’s sickening death throes… Mmm dope.

As some of you may be aware, the Salad Boys and Christian Rock toured the country last month (The NZ Winter Tour 2013… ring any bells, suckers?) and the cameras were rolling every step of the way, the footage turned out good, almost professional looking (but still DIY, of course). In fact the footage turned out so good that Rhett Copland has decided to turn it into a documentary, similar in length to say the annual final episode of Shortland Street before the suspending Summer season. Check out the trailer right here, we’re all fuckin’ excited.

A screening for the doco will likely take place in Christchurch once it’s finished in the coming months and we’re actually even considering releasing it as a limited edition VHS (that’s a video tape suckers) with bonus visual and physical content, if we can figure out how to do it cheaply and easily… watch this space eh.

We have also recently replenished our stock levels and now have every Melted Ice Cream release available again! Some quantities are very very limited (BnP for example) so if you’re collecting get in quick before they’re gone for good.

We also have copies of ShackLock Meth Party's latest album 'Domino Room' available for purchase. This new album is truly the finest piece of racket which I've heard from Rhett Copland to date. And although I tend to say that every time anything that he touches is brought forth, fans of this wickedly underexposed musical “brainchild” - (BF) will be glad to know that it stinks to high heaven of his glorious, tainted DNA (which I say with love). Let regular customers of Rhett Copland’s music be led into unfamiliar territory - new things previously unimaginable will appear here as reality, or something:

As it is not a full blown Melted Ice Cream release we don’t have the cassette available for purchase on the website, so you’ll have to email us direct here if you’d like a copy, price is the usual $5.00 NZD + postage. 

And finally I’d like to touch on some vague plans we have for the next 6 months: A new compilation will be in the works followed by a national tour, more cassette releases to come very soon (groups to be confirmed) and we’re looking into a Melted Ice Cream themed vending machine to be installed at an as of yet undecided Christchurch location…. truly.

Remember, if it’s not Melted, it’s not the one. Don’t let anyone sell you short, suckers. MD.

If it’s not Melted, it’s not the one…

Today Melted Ice Cream brings you three intoxicating articles of news…

First up, for fans of the petrol huffing racketeers Christian Rock and the bongsucking lords of leisure Salad Boys, Christmas has come early…

We at the (snowed in) MIC HQ are chuffed to announce the release of an extra extra extra limited edition split cassette featuring 22 minutes of brand new, unheard racketeering from the Salad Boys and Christian Rock! As usual, the cassette has been lovingly crafted at home, by hand, in full tit DIY fashion on commercial grade C22 cassette, super limited to 20 copies only. Look:

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If you’re wondering where the J-Card is, there isn’t one… Being a split release on a responsible record label, we can’t be seen conveying favouritism, so we’re leaving it up to chance and consumer choice. You be the judge. Listen:

The embed above will take you through to Bandcamp where you can download the split digitally for whatever you choose to pay - be it $5, $50 or absolutely nothing whatsoever. The cassettes will be available for $5.00 each on tour only, so if you want one, make sure you get your shit down to one of the shows. Speaking of which…

To celebrate the release of the said split, both bands will be traversing the skies and roads of ALTearoa this weekend and next, officially dubbed the Salad Boys and Christian Rock Winter Tour August 2011! Sick poster below (courtesy of our mainman Glen Ross of Dunedin):

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The dates and venues are:

August 16 - Darkroom, Christchurch w/ Kel’Farrar (Magic act)
August 17 - Queen’s Bar, Dunedin w/ Transistors and Kilmog
August 22 - Whammy Bar, Auckland w/ Civil Union
August 23 - Static, Hamilton w/ No Saliva
August 24 - Mighty Mighty, Wellington w/ Seth Frightening

As usual, a myriad of Melted Ice Cream merchandise will be available for purchase at each show, including most of the cassette discography, now at the super special street price of $5.00 a piece! (It’s easier for us dealing with change when it’s $5 ya see).

Lastly, thirdly, finally we’ve purchased an O-fficial domain name for the enterprise. Type in www.meltedicecream.co.nz and see where it takes you….

See you on tour suckers, Joe.

X-Ray Charles, physically yours…

Fans of turbo geek trash rejoice, Melted Ice Cream are proud to announce the release of X-Ray Charles’ sophomore release ‘Selph Titled’ on cassette!

The mini-album has been hand dubbed to the highest degree of fabulousity for a limited run of 20 hi-bias commercial grade cassettes. Each piece of cover art is uniquely hand cut and stuck by Brian and James and includes an X-Ray Charles sticker and a Melted Ice Cream sticker, look:

If you haven’t heard this album, get wise, it’s a ripper:

But don’t leave it up to your own judgements, let me force feed you these accolades from the world wide:

"…Damaged jangly guitar pop, pop songs buried beneath fuzz and wrapped in a lo-fi recording, the sort of pop which while it might be as hooky as radio pop, isn’t as immediate due to it’s aesthetic, but once you unpack it, you’re like, oh shit!" - Martyn Pepperell, Rip It Up

"This is a fantastic unknown record, something that most should, but won’t know about. It makes lo-fi music shake and jam in the most smack-addled way possible." - Ryan Saar, Soundly Sounds (Australia).

"Four stars" - Vicki Anderson, The Press.

This release is available from the Melted Ice Cream bandcamp here on cassette for $6.00 NZD + postage or digitally as pay as you like download. The cassette version comes with bonus track ‘Covered In Shit’ which is unavailable anywhere else. Get it right now.

Joe.

New ShackLock album in the werks…

Check this shit…

Video says it all doesn’t it?

Check out ShackLock Meth Party’s last full length ‘This’ below.